Raised as a Mennonite in a good home surrounded by others of the same persuasion, I was a happy child. Yet, there were a few things that bothered me. One was that I could never be sure of my salvation. I was a normal and mischievous child and often got into difficulties with my parents. Never could I be sure that I would “go to heaven” if I should die suddenly.
The other thing that bothered me was that I just couldn’t seem to live the Christian life that was expected of me. There were constant failures. This was very disheartening, but no one else around me seemed to be any different so I resigned myself to the fact that this was the Christian life…a constant struggle.
One day I got a hold of a book called The Normal Christian Life. I still remember reading that book and my constant comment was,--“He’s right, but it is impossible! He’s right, but I don’t see that anywhere today!” Shortly after that I found a book by the same author (Watchman Nee) called The Release of the Spirit. Remember, I was a quiet Mennonite girl who had been warned many times that the others are way off the mark with their Holy Spirit talk. I was leery to even begin reading this book. However, I just HAD to know if there was more to the Christian life than what I had experienced.
The content of this book stayed with me for some time. Shortly after reading this book, I met my future husband and he, being a new believer, had just read this book as well and so together we pursued the possibility that there was more to the Christian life than “trial and error”.
One day the Lord showed me that Christ wanted TO BE MY LIFE (Col. 3:4). I will never forget that day. I shot off the couch and danced around so excited. Christ wants to live His life in me and I don’t have to try anymore! Wow! But how do I do this? I still was always getting in the way!
We had been married for seven years when we decided we would go to Bible school and find out more. We found out that we knew very little of God’s Word and so after two more years at his busy job, my husband decided to give up his job and search the Scriptures for himself. It was during that year that we met several believers who seemed to have a deeper desire toward the Lord. One day, on someone’s coffee table was a paper with articles by Watchman Nee and Andrew Murray (our two favorite authors). We subscribed to the paper and one day there was an article by a Witness Lee. My husband and I laughed and commented that the editor had mixed up the name of Watchman Nee. The article sounded just like Watchman Nee. Later, when we began to meet with a group of believers who met as Watchman Nee portrayed in his writings, we found out that there really was another wonderful believer called Witness Lee who carried on Watchman Nee’s ministry.
The longer I fellowshipped with this group of believers and read and heard the speaking of the ministry of Watchman Nee and Witness Lee, the more I discovered a very simple way to allow Christ to live His life through me. I learned to call upon the Lord’s name (Acts 2:21). I was amazed that I could be rescued from my fallen condition and all the misery that goes with that. It was wonderful. Once I had that experience a few times, I found it much easier just turn to the Lord Jesus many time a day, call His name, and tell Him I love Him, and my day would be so different. My whole life is changed. Ask my husband. He can verify this!
H.M.R.
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